I See It Now
by Ryuuen Mills
Summary: Months after Chi-Chi and Goku have split up, Chi-Chi is watching Goku and Vegeta together and finds a newfound understand for them. Some of Chi-Chi's thoughts and feelings on Goku, the break up, and Goku and Vegeta's relationship. SHOUNEN AI ahead


I See It Now  
By: Cryptina Maxwell  
  
Fandom: Dragon Ball Z  
General/alternate universe  
No lemon or lime  
Shounen ai  
Pairings: Vegeta/Goku  
Spoilers: None, I don't think  
Parts: 1/1  
Rating: PG-13  
Archive: If you want to, but ask me first, please.  
Feedback: Yes, please!  
Story blurb: This is about Chi-Chi observing Goku and Vegeta. She and Goku have split up and she's just observing Goku right now, watching him, and thinking about several things. About how much happier he seems, how much of a change he's undergone...Just read it!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z or any of its characters.  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, alternate universe, possible OOCness.  
  
~*~*~*~*~ Chi-Chi's POV ~*~*~*~*~  
  
I should be angry. I should be furious. And, to tell you all the truth...I was. For several months. It would have gone on for years, my being upset with Goku and angry with him and that awful Vegeta. Yet, now, as I watch them, I realize that...we never had the same thing, Goku and I. Not the same as he has with Vegeta.  
  
I see Goku with Vegeta and I see a different Goku. He's much happier, and if you can believe it, even more full of life.   
  
He looks so wonderful now that Vegeta and he have gotten together. It's been so long since we've actually spoken to each other, Goku and I. I do miss him...  
  
But, Vegeta's found a constant fire within Goku that I didn't see when Goku was with me. But, I see it now.   
  
There are a lot of things that I see when he's with Vegeta, that weren't there when he was with me. There's a new look in his eyes and he's just more...alive...with Vegeta...is the only way that I can put it.  
  
I just can't get over this...it's so...different...he's so beautiful when he's with Vegeta and he just...wasn't like that with me.   
  
Some might ask how, if we've not spoken for so long, I would know these things. The answer is simple. I watch from afar. Maybe he notices me, and then again, maybe he doesn't. I don't know and frankly...I don't care.  
  
I see him holding Vegeta and I know that he's never held me that tightly. Just Vegeta. I know that he couldn't really hold me as tightly as he possibly could, that would have probably crushed me...But, that isn't the point. The point is the way he's doing it. It shows true feeling.   
  
I guess he didn't feel that way for me. I can't help wonder why he'd married me those years ago and had two children with me, if he didn't love me. But...as much as it hurts me and as much as I want to hate him, I can't.   
  
I never thought Vegeta was the type to go out dancing, but whether he is or not, I know I saw he and Goku out one night. When I followed them to a club. I watched them.   
  
I could see that Vegeta was most likely only there because Goku wanted to be there and Vegeta wanted to make him happy. That night, for the first time, I saw Goku dance with his feet of the ground. No...no, not literally. I'm speaking in terms of a human talking about another human without the ability to fly. Goku wasn't flying, he wasn't REALLY off the ground.  
  
Anyway, I never saw those things before, but I see them now. I also realize the reason that I hadn't seen them before, was because...they weren't there with me.   
  
Goku's never looked more beautiful when he's holding Vegeta. At least that's what I see.  
  
Letting him go has been hard for me. So hard. And, that's why I hadn't actually fully let him go. Instead I became obsessed and began to silently stalk him, following he and Vegeta wherever they went, after the divorce was final. This was easier for Vegeta, more so than for Goku. Bulma had done something none of us would have thought she was going to do. She left. One night she and Vegeta got into a huge argument and she left and never came back. Poor Trunks.  
  
But, sitting here a few rows behind Goku and Vegeta in the movie theater, why they came is beyond me, it doesn't seem normal for Vegeta...but perhaps it is. To make Goku happy. Perhaps, Goku had wanted to see this movie. It IS an action movie.   
  
Back to my thought, though. I never finished it. Sitting here, watching them, it's just...so clear to me as to how much Vegeta means to Goku.   
  
My thoughts often wander, but not as much as they are today. Normally, not with this much understanding toward Vegeta and Goku's relationship, but...I can't help it. I've just taken a good long look at them, and I have to admit it, myself, that Goku really is in love with Vegeta. He wasn't in love with me. Not that way.  
  
It's simple. Vegeta's all I couldn't be.   
  
Sometimes, and I know it's not going to go away, I sit and wonder to myself. Why? Why did this happen? Why did he marry me? Why did he have two children with me? When he didn't love me...?   
  
I suppose I'll never know the reasons to ALL of my questions. But, then, again, nobody ever gets the answers to all of their questions in life. It's just the way things are.   
  
I'm going to try harder to let go, though. They don't deserve me walking around and following them and spying on them and obsessing over Goku. I'm a closed chapter in Goku's life. I suppose I should make Goku a closed chapter in mine. Move on. Find someone that will love me, like Goku did.   
  
~*~*~*~*~ Author's POV ~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chi-Chi smiles softly to herself, her newfound understanding allowing her to get up from her seat in the theater and walk out of the room and out of the building, not looking back.  
  
The two Saiyans in watching the movie had noticed her all along. But, it was Goku that hadn't wanted to cause her humiliation or embarrassment and so they'd said nothing about all the times she watched them and followed them. They hoped that now they'd get some peace from her and maybe one day they'd even be able to be on friendly terms.  
  
  
  
  
The End  
  
Author's note: This was inspired by listening to the song I See It Now, by Tracy Lawrence. 


End file.
